There are many pieces of unsolicited advice that people share but there is not much discussion around money management for newlyweds and young adults. Prior to getting married, in my culture anyway, the focus is on ‘how to train you to become a good wife/husband’.
Rarely to do those conversations dabble on topics such as finances and money management- the nitty gritty. According to research, money is the number one cause for divorce these days. That’s a scary stat!
I’ve yet to really understand why people are funny about money and why it is such a taboo subject. After all, what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is ours, right? However this is not always the case. In this post I’ll be sharing money management tips for newlyweds.
I’ve never been the greatest at budgeting, but I’d like to think that I have the right mindset when it comes to saving. After my husband and I moved in together, it became reality that we had new financial obligations that were now our priority. Going from living at home with our parents, baring minimal financial responsibilities, to becoming in charge of your own household overnight was a major switch. We now came to the realization that the money that was once allocated to other mindless things was simply going to be funneled into our new responsibilities like rent, car payments, insurance, savings, etc.
Be transparent about your relationship with money
What was very helpful for us, and still is, was being transparent with one another about money. This included sharing our personal financial goals and past hardships, which in turn helped us to get on the same page and figure out how we would manage our own household.
Like my husband always says, the income of two goes further than that of one. Knowing what goals you want to reach together helps you to structure your life accordingly. You’re building for your future together not planning for it separately.
Decide how the money is to be handled and organized
It’s important to decide very early on how your finances are going to be organized. For example, shared operational accounts, shared savings, separate accounts with a joint savings account, etc. Figure out what works for you and the level of transparency you’re comfortable with.
Whatever the case may be in your situation, it’s important to be honest about it. Call me old-fashioned I believe in the philosophy what once you’re married, all you have it put together and becomes “ours” vs “mine and yours”. I learned this from my parents at a young age and I admired their openness. I strongly believe that it builds trust and security.
Should everything be split 50/50?
I think that once you get in the habit of going 50/50 on everything, where do you draw the line? Are the bills split in half? Groceries? Travel? What happens when a baby is in the picture and one parent takes maternal or paternal leave, how will the financial responsibilities be divided then? The list goes on and on. I don’t want to feel like my husband is merely a roommate who I just happen to share the same last name with.
I believe that this marriage endeavour is partnership in all aspects. There is comfort in knowing that no matter the hurdles life may throw at you that will test and try your relationship, you are going to go into battle together, for each other. You will find very little success if you’re in it for yourself and only looking out for your best interest. There is a lot of pressure that comes with adjusting to life as newlyweds and transparency can help to ease the transition.
A good friend once said to us that marriage is being comfortable walking back to back with your partner and not being able to see what’s going on behind you but trusting that they’ll keep you protected. Somehow you feel so safe that even without being able to see where you’re going from all angles, you know that your partner has got you covered from their side.
Learn to enjoy your hard earned money
So even amid saving and being money conscious, don’t allow money to preoccupy your every thought or let it stop you from enjoying our hard work and reaping the rewards. Treat yourself once or twice a month to a romantic dinner or book a weekend getaway.
By not making money the epicenter of your relationship will allow you to focus on what matters the most – the two of you.
Tips to help you save and enjoy your money at the same time
- Open a shared bank account to be used for household maintenance, bills, etc.
- Write down a list of every single expense that you are responsible for on a monthly basis. Don’t forget to factor things like gas for the car, buying coffee and lunch at work, etc. Be realistic. Become familiar with exactly how much it costs to actually live on a month to month basis.
- Once all the bills and necessary payments have been made, decide on an amount that will be moved to a shared savings account.
- Treat your savings account as a bill. Do not spend any leisure money until you have satisfied that savings account “bill”.
- Unless extremely necessary, avoid dipping back into the savings. If this is something that you are doing regularly, rework your budget and reduce the amount of money you’re moving into savings.
- When the major financial obligations are out of the way, utilize the rest of your money to do something together as a couple and create memories. These are priceless experiences.
- Being frugal is not the only way to be financially responsible. Give yourself grace while living within your means.
- Building a good relationship with money while being transparent and vulnerable about your financial past is a process so treat it as such.
QUESTION: What has helped you and your partner better manage your money?
This is such an important topic. I know so many couples that fight over money. I think it’s really important to be on the same page with your partner. Luckily, my husband and I are!
Super important and I’m very happy that I learned this very early! That’s amazing to hear. Thank you for reading!
Completely agree – we work together in everything – finances, parenting and our relationship
http://Www.confessions-of-a-travel-addict.com
That’s really great! It’s good to be both be equally involved in important decisions, though you may have opposing views.
Super thoughtful and quite true! Money is such a taboo issue amongst everyone! This is useful information for people just starting out!
Absolutely! I’m very happy that I learned this early on. Thank you for reading 🙂
True. Money is the most important thing to survive.
Yes, we don’t realise it until we started living in our own. A good plan and better understanding never led us to any argument, it’s easy to be on the same page that way.
Thanks for sharing and pointing out this. Great post.
-Sunshine
https://merakimusings.org/
That’s really great! People don’t realize the power in having open conversation; its super helpful. Thank you so much for reading!
Great advice. I have always been one to save and we don’t make a purchase unless there is money to pay for it. I’m happy to say that my 23 year old granddaughter has followed in my footsteps and is doing the same thing.
That’s great for your granddaughter, she clearly learned from the best!
This is so relevant even moving in with friends– purchasing cleaning products, furniture, etc. So relevant and helpful! Thank you!
I’m glad you found it very helpful, those are important things to think about. Thank you for reading!
Thank you for this article. I’ve been married for 5 years and I still think that we need to work on this.
I’m so glad that you were able to relate and find value in it! Thanks for reading 🙂
Money is always important and almost never discussed! Honesty is always the best policy!
I agree that money seems to be a private topic. But it just can’t be when it comes to our partners. Keeping the lines of communication open is so important. Thanks for sharing.
I agree with you so I must be Old Fashioned as well. It blows my mind when I hear my friends talk out their sperate account, or their money, it just all seems so shady. No wonder they end up divorced they never believed the marriage would work from day one, so they kept everything separate. They were doomed from day one! After 23 years of marriage and almost 30 years of being together I would never think to have our finances separate it is all ours, we made together, we will spend it together.
This post is so true! Nobody talks to you about money before marriage. My husband and I combined ours but my parents did not. My mom said that my dad spent too much so she had to seperate theirs. I like ours together so that we both equally contribute to everything!